Category Archives: Fasciinating Stories

health issue of the day

So I got my latest covid-19 booster shot yesterday and today I have a slight cold. I did manage to escape the sore arm syndrome. My friend, Jim, who got his shot at the same time I got mine has a cold this morning. These are expected side effects from the shots.

I see the Salvation Army is starting to advertise for their seasonal campaign again.

They used to just appear on street corners with their red buckets and bells but now that they have unknown millions of dollars in the bank, they apparently feel that they are big enough and important enough to spend god only knows how much money on television advertising.

Let me tell you why I never give them a damned dime.

Back in 1978, when I suffered a devastating bankruptcy that put me on the streets, I appealed to them for some assistance and after spending hours and hours talking to some of their big-shot commanders in their headquarters in a large city, I was told flat out that they had nothing to offer me.

They will never get a dime of my money… not now, not ever .. and I do have a shit load of it as you all know by now if you know me at all.

Now that Mr. Musk is letting Trump and some of his acolytes back onto Twitter, I am shit-canning my account there also. I have that because I always enjoyed Twitter. Now I fear it is going to become nothing more than a mouthpiece for the vilest and evil political hacks the world has ever known and I do not need that kind of shit. I would not weep the first tear if Twitter were simply to do down the proverbial shit hole.

According to the news, some of the supposed bargain stores and some of the grocery stores are now being investigated for having different price tags on their shelves than on their checkout cash registers. The way the scam works is that you see a price tag on a product on their shelves and when you go to pay, the price magically increases. The stores that have been on our local news because of this problem so far have been the ones calling themselves “Dollar General.”

I have enough assholes trying to get their hands into my wallet without the added inconvenience of bargain stores … but I do have one advantage … I more or less avoid bargain stores because most of the stuff I have ever seen in bargain stores is not really bargains anyway but seem to me to be nothing better than imported Asian-made garbage that either does not do what it says it will do or does not last much farther than the first two or three uses.

We went to the expense some time ago of having some trees removed from our estate so as to avoid all the leaves that drop off in the fall. So yesterday what did we see? We saw a yard filled with leaves that had fallen from the neighboring property. Bastards! I feel inclined to hire someone to sneak over there and chainsaw their damned trees but of course, that is illegal and I am a law-abiding citizen so that is not going to happen …Maybe I will pray for a few lightning storms.

I Remember Discovering Beer

There was a time, when I was Ten years old, when my mother worked as a cook in a large local restaurant and my dad was the janitor and general hired hand. I spent a lot of time in that place and became intimately familiar with the “Bar Society” life.

Those were the days of drunks aplenty and booze aplenty and opportunities for me to be a budding entrepreneur. My main schitk back in those days was to draw pictures for drunks for 25 cents each. I was good at drawing simple little cartoons and the drunks loved them. What the drunks liked best was when I would do cartoons that I thought looked like them.

Old Al was the bartender. He was a gruff old man with a very prominent nose. The day I drew a picture of him he became as indignant and angry as a man could ever become when he saw my rendering of his rather prominent proboscis. He glared at the drawing and then exclaimed loudly, “I look like a damned buzzard! Buzzards eat shit and I don’t eat shit!” I think I managed to escape just in the nick of time that night.

That was the beginning.

When I finally became 18-years-old and put on the uniform of the U.S. Army for the first time, it wasn’t long before I discovered the “Service Clubs” on our army base where I was allowed to purchase something called “Three-Two Beer.” I was not allowed to drink regular beer which had a higher alcohol content so I had a watered-down version called “Three Two” which had a considerably lower alcohol content but you could still get drunk on it if you drank enough of it.

The evening’s entertainment consisted of sitting with a few buddies in the service club, three two beers in hand, talking loudly about mindless stuff, trying to see which of us could curse more profanely than the other, and lying about our exploits and conquests with women. The uniform, the beer, endless chain-smoked cigarettes, and the profane language made us all feel really grown up — “Real Men.”

Once in a while, we would add a fistfight or two to the mix and get ourselves confined to the barracks on weekends for a while.

Those were the days, my friend; I thought they would never end.

Exorcizing Fake Followers

In the past couple of weeks, I have gotten a carload of new “Followers” whose blogs either are non-existent or have nothing to do with the topics that I blog about or they have a blog with no entries or just a couple of entries that never change. These are fake followers and I imagine they are just following me so that they can get more exposure on the Internet. Almost every one of them is peddling something for sale.

Today, in an effort to prevent more of these fakes from signing onto my blog, I have removed the “Subscribe By E-Mail” and the “Follow” button. I don’t know if that will do any good or not. Maybe I shouldn’t even be concerned.

GAS PRICES AT THE PUMP — When you feel like agreeing with the semi-literate radical republicans that high gas prices at the pump are somehow the fault of President Biden, consider this: It has been reported that the giant oil conglomerates are using the excuse of rampant inflation to pocket huge profits for themselves … the figure that I hear being bounced around for the last quarter is nearly 10 billion dollars profit for Big Oil.

It has been the government’s policy to give Big Oil whatever they ask for in the way of tax abatements and so forth so since there seems to be some gouging of consumers right now, how about a windfall profits tax on their asses …. a significant and meaningful windfall profits tax. How about that?

LAST WORD — Let me share my last words for this evening. I want to talk about Halloween and Trick or Treating. Nobody likes candy and trick or treats more than I do. I have never grown up about Halloween and Christmas and Valentine’s day and all those wonderful things.

So I sat down and began to think about what I was going to dress up like this Halloween.

I finally arrived at a conclusion. I would get some horned-rimmed glasses and some faggot-looking tight jeans, a gun, a bible, and a flag and dress up as a MAGA Right Winger this year, My fake buck teeth and the baseball cap worn backward would complete my MAGA look.

But I had to abandon this plan for my costume this season because …after I had gotten all the clothing and the props right, I discovered that it was impossible for me to stick my head up my ass.

Maybe it is for the best.